The Humor Mill

Featured Article- Linsanity By Orlando Jones!

Posted Feb 27, 2012

Here is our first article from featured writer Orlando Jones, who many of you know as an actor and comedian. Jones is now on board with us and we welcome your thoughts from his first article with us! Check out the article;

Linsanity is sweeping the nation and everyone seems to have an opinion about Knicks point guard Jeremy Lin. They’re comparing him to a lot of people.

Well, here’s some people we should not compare him to:

1. Plaxico Burress — Because when Lin shoots in New York it’s legal.

2. Chris Rock — Because when Lin plays the Garden he doesn’t call anyone a “cracker-ass cracker.”

3. Charles Oakely — Because if Lin fights his punches just may be accurate.

4. Michael Jordan — Because after six great basketball games you ARE NOT the greatest player in NBA history. You’re 6 and 0 with no rings.

5. Yao Ming — Both play pro basketball and are of Asian decent and your point is? Hitler and Arnold Schwarzenegger are both Austrian-born politicians. Obama and rapper TI both have similar complexions. OJ Simpson and I both have the same initials. What is wrong with stupid people?

6. Floyd Mayweather Jr. — Because he thinks Linsanity is based on race. Which is the same as thinking playing hockey is based on having no teeth or thinking black people eat pork because Africa is shaped like a pork chop.

7. Lance Armstrong — Because no matter how well Lin performs beating cancer is the bigger victory.

8. Ralph Lauren — Because even though Lin is a superstar and hero in China they’re still gonna bootleg his jersey.


9. Any foreign athlete — I regret to inform the Klu Klux Klan and their various subsidiaries but Jeremy Lin is American. So suck it bigots!

10. Jackie Chan — Because we DO understand the words coming from Lin’s mouth.

11. Tim Tebow — Because Lin has already completed more passes.

12. Latrell Sprewell — Because Lin really DID graduate from college.

13. Mark Zuckerberg — Because watching Lin is more fun than pretending to remember the girl who sat behind you in third grade from her Facebook profile photo.

14. Nicki Minaj — Because Lin’s English professor at Harvard would kill him for writing, “Now all the bums is wondering where I be’s at — if you ain’t a Barbie it’s none of your freaking beeswax!!!”

15. Mayor Bloomberg — Because Lin CAN actually read the Mandarin billboards in Chinatown.

16. Charlie Sheen — Because THIS is what winning really is. It’s when you work hard, ignore the haters and the rejection, keep your eyes on the prize, stay prepared for the moment when opportunity knocks and surpass everyone’s, maybe even your own, expectations. That’s winning. That’s Linsanity.

17. Paparazzi whores — Because wouldn’t it be great if Linsanity marked the end of the no talent media manufactured train wrecks of the last decade? You’re right, I’m asking for to much. Let’s just be thankful for the Linsanity we got.

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