Wendy Williams meant it when she told her Peabody Opera House crowd Friday night she was no comedian and she didn’t have jokes.
“I tell stories, the stories of my life,” she said to the light, diverse crowd. “The stories you hear here, don’t repeat. I’ll deny it.”
The disclaimer about not being a comedian wasn’t necessary. There was no mistaking her for Amy Schumer.
The wiggy host of “The Wendy Williams Show,” a hot mess of a daytime talk show, was equally a hot mess during the St. Louis stop of her 12-city tour as a stand-up comedian.
Technically make that “The Sit Down Tour…Too Real for Stand Up” as Williams sat in a fancy white chair on a mock glamorous set complete with a bottle of champagne during the 75-minute set.
Walking out to the tune of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” courtesy of her DJ Ominaya and greeting fans with her trademark “how you doing” face and hand motion, Williams got right to the business of her attire. Looking thinner than ever, she came in a tight T-shirt, a pair of short shorts and sparkly pumps. It looked as if a set of long legs and a mane of hair had taken the stage.
After giving a shout out to Pappy’s Smokehouse, which she said was the only place she’ll eat in St. Louis, she talked up the feel-good music she misses like Luther Vandross and Shalamar, while admitting today’s ratchet rap is a guilty pleasure.
But the show went adult from there, including her behavior at female strip clubs, the more “ghetto” the better, where she said she does the things men do.
She talked a lot about her large breasts, calling herself a breast implant pioneer, and even flexed her breasts in a motion she described as one-time-only. That wasn’t the only female private part she riffed on.
Addressing Caitlyn Jenner, as Williams often does on her show, she said Jenner is very fashionable and looks great though her hands and voice are dead giveaways and “the voice is real disturbing.” She suggested Jenner adopt a Julia Child-type voice, “not that Julia Child is transgender.” Williams added Jenner is selling the transgender community a bill of good since looking like Jenner takes a lot of money, and capped it by saying many women are angry Jenner looks better than they do.
“Are you having a good time?” she asked a few times throughout the night. “Are you judging?”
The judge and jury are still out on Williams’ stand-up comedy future, but she should probably keep her day job.
Comedian Roy Wood Jr.’s opening set varied between lukewarm to moderately funny as he relayed bits about sneaking food into movie theaters, paying extra for condiments at fast food restaurants, mean Waffle House employees, fancy smoothies and losing weight.